To my Girls,

Today, I spoke to a few of you for the first time in what seems like forever. Yes, I KNOW I was supposed to be doing online AIEEE math papers for my big, SCARY exam tomorrow, but SO many of you were online, that I couldn't help it. I just HAD to talk to you all. I was tagged in a class photo, 12 A, ICSK Senior, the 2011 12th grade batch. Do you people even KNOW how hard it is to look at that photo? Okay...maybe you do. You girls have been there longer, and you would probably miss it more.
I don't like to cry. It embarrasses me when I cry in front of others. So if EVER I want to look at that photo, I'd have to lock myself in the bathroom, and bawl my head off (quietly) in there, wait till my eyes weren't red anymore (a tip to make them white again quickly:fan them and think happy thoughts :P) and then only would I venture out again. If anyone asked, I'd say I had a stomach ache and attribute any remaining eye redness to pollen allergy (I'm not allergic to anything, as far as I know) or whatever believable excuse I can come up with at that moment.
I miss you all SO much, it's almost physically painful. Even though I've known you lot for only 6 months or so. No matter how much I immerse myself in what I like doing: Facebooking, Reading, Drawing..... it still doesn't make up for the time I'm missing out on with you. I'd rather be hanging out with you girls, planning stupid stuff like car thefts (:D), ways to overthrow the government etc. and annoying the crap out of you (you HAVE to admit, it's kinda fun :P), rather than being stuck here alone.
I have my brothers. They mean the world to me. But they're NOT you guys. I can't joke about my teachers or any classroom incidents that may have happened, 'cos you need to be there to understand it and see the humour in the situation. They would laugh,but it wouldn't be the same. It would be WAYYYY more fun if all of you were there.
So anyway, we SHOULD take my suggestion seriously (for ONCE -.-), and plan a BIG outing with ALL of us. And I don't mean a trip to the mall. Maybe a road trip? Or a cruise?
Yeah, yeah, I KNOW we don't have the money for that and all those OTHER mean little details would also have to be taken into consideration....but who says it has to be done immediately? We have YEARS ahead of us ^^. I'll start planning right away. Maybe we can ditch our parents and fly to Egypt or South Africa (:P). Though if y'all want, we can start small, with a trip to the mall :).
I'm not sure if I'll see any of you again unless this road-trip thing really happens, but I'll tell you all now: I WANT A REUNION. Guaranteed. So we'll make a deal...I'll plan the road-trip, and you 27 plan the reunion?
Love you guys SOOOO much!!!!! :*
Peace!
Maya

It's REALLY frustrating, when you really Really REALLY want to help someone, 'cos they're down or whatever the case may be, but you can't because of certain reasons. Either they won't freaking LISTEN (-.-) when you try to help, or you're too far away to be of any actual use or comfort. Online chatting is just NOT the same...
It's weird, I've been WAY pissed for tiny tiny reasons, the past week or so, and it's getting annoying. I don't even know WHY I'm always angry. And then in two seconds...I can't remember HAT I was angry about. Mood swings suck, BIG TIME-.-
Plus, I'm staying at my cousin's place for the time being. 16 people(including me) under one roof=MAJOR chaos-.-. Chaos that, though I (sometimes) contribute to it too, gets WAY annoying after a while.
You get TIRED of hearing people bicker constantly in the background. And my two youngest cousins, aged 9 and 11, have accumulated an impressive vocabulary of swear words, and can now cuss like truck drivers. Credit goes to my two OTHER cousin brothers aged 14 and 17-.-. They actually ENCOURAGE the cussing sometimes, and at other times (when I'm around, glaring at them), they act all mature and scold the little ones for swearing. I've decided to just carry around a cast iron frying pan with me and wave it threateningly when they decide the younger kids' language could get a little more colourful...
And then there are the lectures. A few every day. Oh how I ENJOY the lectures.......
NOT -.-.
So I often 'escape' to the upper terrace. It's not ALL that awesome as terraces go. You can't walk there without burning the soles of your feet (and I'm usually not the slipper wearing type), and the view is not that great. But it's a nice place to sit and think. You can sometimes see hawks flying overhead. The houses around are WAY weirdly coloured houses. There's one across the street that's FLUORESCENT orange....-.-
I'm not kidding. I mean, WHAT were those people THINKING?! -.-
And I've realised....ALL I'm doing these days is texting a friend of mine. ALL the time....
My aunt is getting MAJORLY pissed. I have a coupla important exams coming up. Depending on my performance in them, I could get into the college of my choice or do something I hate for the rest of my life, to put it in an adult's words. Frankly, to ME, it does not matter whether I get into Architecture or not. I have a few backup plans in mind, I'd always wanted to do languages, and work as a translator in the UN. Or maybe teach English in a foreign country. Or maybe do visual communications and work in a Magazine (^_^). I don't know.... but i DO know one thing, I WILL enjoy my life. I'll make SURE it turns out awesome. I promise that to myself.
Peace
Maya

You know, it rained yesterday afternoon. It was the first shower I experienced since I first came to chennai, and it. Was. AWSOME. I got TOTALLY drenched and loved every single second :)....... Though there WAS that part where I got yelled at 'cos I was walking around with sopping wet hair and clothes. The usual 'YOU'RE GOING TO COME DOWN WITH PNEUMONIA BECAUSE OF WHICH YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO WRITE YOUR EXAMS WELL!!!"-.-
Yeah, LIKE that would be such a bad thing....I mean, It's not like my HEALTH is on the line or anything right? But my marks? Yeah, THAT'S even MORE important.......-.-
Oh, and a friend told me that the weather here is going to get EVEN hotter......
Great. Just what we need, here in the land of Hot and Humid -.-...........
But till then I'm going to enjoy these storms....The whole of last night, I could hear the rain outside and the sky kept lighting up, so that for a second, it looked like day, and then the next second, it was pitch black again...:)
VERY cool....^_^
Peace
Maya

SQUIRREL!!! (LMAO!)

My master is a good and smart master, and he made me this collar so that i may SPEAK :D


I freakin' LOVE this dog!!!!!
I want him.....:( :( :(
I LOVE you, Doug! *a MILLION kisses*
Maya

NIGHTMARE!

GOD, I am just so mixed up right now...
What the HELL have I DONE to deserve this?
I need a drink....-.-
Maya
P.S: Thank GOD for understanding (sort of, I guess) friends who have a lot in common with you.....

When I talk....I'd like people to listen. Even if I say nothing of importance, it would make me feel like my opinion is valued. It's INCREDIBLY rude to COMPLETELY ignore a person, when they are trying to share their thoughts on a topic....
And yes, I AM still pissed-.-
So anyway, now that I've got THAT off my shoulders....I'm happy. For a while atleast. My exams are over and all, but there are MORE coming up. Big ones. Apparently bigger than our boards. And you know, during the boards, we heard 'Don't worry, It's only a month of exams and after that you're freeeeee......!' and other crap like that. But they were ALL lies. Lies, I tell you! Lies uttered in cold blood, deceiving us trusting gullible little children!!!!
...........
Um.......sorry about that. I thought this entry would benefit from a little drama *sheepish grin* ^^".....
So anyway, what I was trying to say was, if you're going to tell someone something, don't lie blatantly to their face. 'Cos it's mean-.-.....
Later!
Maya

I am INCREDIBLY pissed....AND have a splitting headache to top it all off. There's this thing EATING away at my heart. It sounds sappy, I know....but there's really no other way to describe it. It's nothing connected with romance, just a gnawing irritating pain that refuses to go away and is getting even worse as time passes. I want to scream and break things a lot and that disturbs me because I've never been the excessively violent type.......Okay, maybe I HAVE been, but not to a point where it has consumed me like this. There are times when I wish the sound around me would fade away and the world would slow down a little, because everything is always so noisy or speeding by. There's no time to really ENJOY an experience. Either the wold is spinning too fast or I'm the one that's slow. It could very well be the latter, I've always been a sorta turtle at most things. Of course, there ARE exceptions and all, but still...
So anyway, to change the subject, I'll talk about something else.
I woke up early (i.e my kind of early -.-) to go for math entrance coaching today. After class, I (finally) got to wander around on my own and explore the neighbourhood a bit. I figured it was about time I did, considering there's a very high possibility I might be studying in Chennai after all. And knowing my way around would be good so I wouldn't come across as a TOTAL idiot when I met new people.
Then again, it's ME so I probably still would.....-.-
Regardless of all that, it would be helpful to know my way around. And I traveled to class on my own the last 4 days or so, and I'm very proud of myself for byhearting the route from my cousin's house to class.
No sooner had I done that, when ..........we moved. To my OTHER cousin's house-.-
I kid you not.
Can you say 'FRUSTRATED'? Now I have to learn the route AAAAAAALL over again, not to mention that the new route is a hell lot more confusing and harder to learn than the old one was. And so after I wandered around a bit, I walked down to the temple wayyy down the street where my mom had asked to meet her. It's been AGES since I've been in a temple, actually, and I feel SO out of place there. I've never been VERY religious. There's been the one pilgrimage when I was 6, maybe, and the occasional praying (which escalates greatly during exam time :P), and the regular festivals and holy days. But nothing more. And when I go into temples, I often feel that EVERYONE there knows that I am not a devout worshiper like all of them are but a stupid girl who has probably wandered into the pretty building by mistake -.- .
And I don't like that. Maybe I don't pray all that often, but that does not make me a godless brat. And so, I went in, prayed a little, searched for my mom surreptitiously, got tired of all the stares, and walked out. I sat on the curb of the road, texted my mom, telling her that I was going to wander around a little. I walked down that road, and found this cool looking park nearby, which I recognized as the Annanagar park. It's got this huge tower in the middle which is closed to people, because apparently more than one person has tried commit suicide by jumping from the top.
Just THINKING about that gave me the creeps. I guess I've always been more than a little freaked at high places. I sat down at this bench and pulled out my art book 'cos I had nothing to do and it was the right atmosphere to do a little drawing... I wasn't trying to pose as those people from movies, who are seen drawing or writing in the park and look 'oh-so-cool'. I just like parks and restaurants because they're nice places to have a little time to yourself. And there was this ADORABLE little kid trying to get across this semicircular climbing frame, but kept stopping just before he reached the top, and asking his mom to get him down. He tried twice or thrice before giving up and running off to see-saw instead. Seeing him brought back memories of my own experiences with climbing frames. As a kid, I climbed the many we have in Kuwait parks, but I never made it to the top either. That little issue of acrophobia, you see...
And my mom showed up a few minutes later, just as I finished sketching the playground. So we set off back home. However, I think that I'll be visiting that park more often in the future, especially since it isn't too far from my class. It feels nice to be able to walk around on your own with no adults to bother you, and without having to depend on someone for money and transportation. It makes me feel strangely....independent. A feeling I'm (sadly) very unused to-.-
So anyway, we've got friends over at the house so I'm going to go now.
Peace
Maya

To Akiva

A few things I would never EVER tell my 8th grade sister (because I'm such a proud jerk) but have decided to due to reasons I'll keep to myself :-

1. She is obviously the favourite daughter :P....I mean, it's pretty OBVIOUS, right?

2. It is almost ALWAYS me who has finished the last piece of chocolate/last slice of pizza/last packet of chips. Almost. So consider this point an apology for all such future occurrences, 'cos they will KEEP happening for a loooooooooooooong time.

3. She is (again, obviously)more skilled in the kitchen (If your reading this,Akiva, I'd suggest you wipe that self-satisfied smirk off your face, ya li'l brat....:P). Now I'm not a great chef....but atleast I'm not a horrible one either right? Right?

4. I know I can be a REEEEEALLY horrible person sometimes and I usually use her as my punching bag when I'm upset. So here's another apology for these times which may or may not occur in the future (because, you know, I'm going to college and everything.... :S ). But I want you to know that you being there really helped me to stay sane^^....especially during the boards. Maybe I yelled at you, and was a jerk for no reason whatsoever and you took it quietly and I want you to know how much I appreciate that.

5. You are WAYYYY cooler than I was at you age what with your awesome language and smartass wit and I take full credit for that. Thank you, Thank you very much*bows, flying kisses at audience*

6. Our 'oh-so-sensible' ninja talks, plans of world domination, schemes to overthrow the government etc. are what have kept me from spiraling into insanity over the years. Ironic isn't it? The (obviously) insane preventing Insanity?:P

7. I also appreciate the times when you play the older sister and rein me in. Sometimes I need that whack over head with a cast-iron frying pan. I enjoy the fact that you occasionally let me play the younger sibling. It's fun to be the little kid again^^....after all those lectures on responsibility and whatnot-.-

8. I'm sorry for AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL the times you've been yelled at or have gotten into trouble, when I was the one at fault.

So anyway, there are a lot more points I would add, if I were a little less lazy....but I'm not so.... this is all you'll get. I've been in India less than a week, and I already find myself losing my temper more often and WAY more stressed out than usual, and always Always ALWAYS irritated for no apparent reason. And that just irritates me further....So in all, not a very happy/comfortable situation and I get the feeling it's because we can't talk all that much anymore.

So I just want to say I miss you^^ *cue sappy music*

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OOooookay, moment over^^ *cue Give it all-Rise Against*

War RESUMES!!!!! :P :P :P

Later

Maya

To Light

Dear Light,

You are technically the first follower I got. One I don't know, that is... The other three include two of my best friends and my sister, who are sorta obliged to follow my blog. So I'd like to thank you, for inspiring me, and giving me confidence. When I saw you followed my blog, I realised maybe there WAS somebody out there (NOT obliged to follow my blog for fear that I'd whup their butts:P) who enjoyed reading what I wrote. You will inspire me to better myself and my writing. So thank you. Arigato gozaimasu^^!

Peace

Maya

This is me to a T. I'm probably the LAZIEST person on the planet & I would probably spend my LIFE in hibernation if it weren't for my mom, I think. :P

But I'm me and proud of it. It doesn't matter what names I'm called or what others think about me. What matters is what I think about MYSELF. The only person who can make me feel bad about myself is Me. Maya.

I don't care if people think I'm weird or don't like me. My own company is enough for me. But even after all that, I'm thankful for my besties. Nobody means more to me. So thank you Misaki, Namini, Reshma, Neenu, Tanvi, Manit, Akshaya, Tanya, Hanna, Sana, George, Ravi, Abdul and anyone else I may have forgotten to mention. Don't take it personally. It's late and I'm sleepy, and my already horrible memory is even worse at this hour. I was supposed to have gone to bed about an hour ago, since I have class EARLY tomorrow morning (blaugh...-.-), at 9. Okay, maybe that's not REALLY early, but for a late sleeper like me who presses the snooze button on the alarm clock around a GAZILLION time before waking up, it's pretty early. I'll need to set the alarm for 6 If I'm to be up by 8 at the earliest...-.-. So anyway, as I was saying before I got sidetracked, I LOVE you guys!!!^^(Don't be creeped out...It's just something I had to get off my chest :P)

Peace

Maya

Dare you to Move

I'm in LOVE with this song by Switchfoot called Dare You to Move. Everytime I listen to it, I have this vision of flying over valley and I have no clue why...:P

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself, to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

This is Switchfoot, my favourite band this week^^.

Peace

Maya

I miss Kuwait....and I miss my friends...:(
How am I gonna survive for the next TWO months?....:/
Maya

I'm reading Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, and it's an amazing book, not only because of the fact that Japanese culture fascinates me, but also due to the kind of visual pictures it paints.
I can see very clearly the kimono that he describes, the way the makeup is put on and so many other scenes.

Maybe it's because I've already watched the movie, but I feel it's because it's REALLY well-written.
In usual cases, movies based on books are barely half as good as the book is... However, this certain book is an exception. The movie is SIMPLY AMAZING.
The Japanese landscape is simply breathtaking, and I often wish I had a little moss garden or brook with a red bridge in my balcony. And I admire the fact that though they are so modern, and developed, the Japanese are still so traditional and have managed to hold on to the age-old practices of their ancestors....
It almost makes me jealous...
Having grown up in the Gulf, I can't read or write my mother tongue and can barely speak it as well...I am only Indian in my looks (and not even completely...Around 8 people have told me that I look south-east asian...Not that that's a bad thing or anything, but STILL...). I often wish I'd grown up in India instead. My mom says that maybe if I had, I wouldn't be such an ignorant little brat :/....
*sigh* Geez...
Later
Maya